July 16, 2020
Tonight is my last night here in Utah as I wrap up my “guided” adventure through canyons, rivers, clifftops, deserts and forests. With my highly-evolved family of light guiding my direction for four days, we journeyed with the goal of finding an ancient galactic portal together. I was to enter this portal and truly experience the oneness with All That Is, catapulting my consciousness to the next important level.
And I did find the portal. Its location was exactly how they described it. I worked with the Galactic Federation of Light, who initially invited me to this portal on June 12, 2020. They expertly steered me to its location near the Utah/Colorado border. Over several conversations the past 4 weeks I learned more about this portal and what it’ll mean to go through it. They said the portal was ready for me, now. They also said that the portal only appears for those who the portal accepts or deems ready. This was a huge honor. After two short weeks of planning, I left Spa Buena Vista, Baja California Sur, Mexico, and drove north for four days to get to Utah.
At the agreed-upon starting point in Utah, I got into my meditative state and invited in my guides like I have done just about every day for 60 days. Except now we looked at my maps together and they told me what roads to take and when to next check in. Pretty nerve-wracking process for me, and such a test in trust. I trust my guides completely, but I still don’t always trust that I am hearing them clearly. Turns out we did beautifully together. My guides sent me on an incredible four-day excursion.
Most of this trek was in 4-wheel drive, traversing serious-4×4-only roads, back-country dirt and gravel roads, that I could never have driven in anything other than my Jeep. I thought to myself, did I buy a Jeep 10 years ago so that I could make this amazing journey here today in 2020?
I’d go miles without seeing another soul, hours. Much of the time I did not have cell phone service. But I saw some of Mother Natures’ most beautiful and jaw-dropping landscapes. What an incredible place we get to call home. I had never been to Utah or Colorado and seeing the red-rock canyons and layers and layers of different geological rocks along these less-traveled paths will stay with me forever. I would have never done a journey like this on my own. This was such a gift!
I slept in my jeep for three nights in a row as I made my way south to the portal. Much of the land here is federally-owned and you can camp anywhere that is not private property. This is BLM property – the Bureau of Land Management and this is where my guides wanted me to be. I stayed in undeveloped campsites miles away from humanity, packing in all my own water and food. Another first for me. I am way more capable than I’ve ever given myself credit.
The days were over 100 degrees and the nights varied from cold (55 degrees) to hot (80 degrees) over those few nights. For the third night, my team led me up winding, washed out, rocky, narrow roads that kept climbing and climbing. “Turn here” I’d hear in my head. Then “turn here” again. About an hour later, I am pulling up to what seems like a dead end. I knew this wasn’t where the portal would be, based on what they’d told me previously. (Which I must keep secret.) I got out of my Jeep, perplexed, wondering if I’d made a wrong turn. Then the view hit me. And my location. Wow. A rocky point on the top of a mountain that had 360-degree views of nature’s absolute majesty. Not many people on Earth get to see something like this. Rivers, valleys, sheer cliffs with a billion years of rock and sediment exposed, sky, clouds, sun… I sat down and checked in with my team. They said that this is where I’d be spending the night. The location was a gift. Sigh. [vlog 1] I cry now just thinking about how amazing that night was, up there by myself just soaking in the moment. [vlog 2]
I always felt safe and I coveted this alone time…though I truly was never alone, as my guides were with me in force and we talked quite a bit. I know as I head home to Washington that I’ll miss this quietness, the deafening quiet, so much. I’m feeling uneasy thinking about making this transition back to where and what my life used to be. I’ve been gone for five months. The world is a pretty different place now, not just for me but for everyone.
Three days ago, as my guides explained where I’d be heading next, I knew the time was getting close to arrive at the portal. I felt my nerves creeping in. Goosebumps. I slowly made my way down the mountain from my cliff-top campsite and stopped at the next town, as they directed me. I got quiet and reached out to my guides for the next move. As we spoke I got out my map. They pointed out a nearby river and told me to make my way to this river. I got out of my car and started looking around me. The map didn’t show any access points. Then I turned around and saw a small sign near a dirt road – BOAT LAUNCH. Eureka! It was right there! I turned down this dirt road, passed by a few homes, some farmland.
Eventually the road got bumpier and narrower. I didn’t notice the boat launch, but I could see the river. I followed this dirt road in 4-wheel drive until I came to another small sign – NO MOTORIZED VEHICLES. Beyond this sign seemed to be an unmarked trail.
This was playing out exactly as my guides had described it weeks ago. I’d drive on a winding road until I couldn’t drive any longer, and I’d have to continue on foot. They told me weeks ago to prepare for this – not only being self-sufficient in my Jeep but being ready to hike in the desert. They advised me to bring all the gear I’d need and to pack plenty of water and food. Which I had, thank goodness. They told me the portal would be on a river in a deep canyon. That it has been used many times by native tribes that used to live in this area. This all fit the bill. Oh boy.
I put the car in park and asked again, “Is this right?”. “YES” came a clear answer. I had no idea how far I’d be hiking. This trail is not on my maps. I put my hiking shoes on, my wide-brimmed sun hat, and a long-sleeve shirt. I put a couple bottles of water, some trail mix and an electrolyte drink in my backpack. I took a deep breath and got on the trail.
The hike in was quite nice. I was excited and running on adrenaline. Red dirt under my feet, a 2,000-foot wall of rock on my right, the river somewhere in the distance. The landscape was dotted by ancient juniper bushes (I read they can live for 1,000 years), large boulders that had fallen off the cliffs, washed-out areas. But the trail was well-worn for the most part and only a little hilly.
I was so thankful for the large billowy white clouds that kept me shaded and a strong breeze through the canyon. I was thanking God out loud for this! It was 104 degrees that day and I had set out at about 11 a.m. Tough conditions.
As I walked the trail, I was getting a sense for how this portal might work. I kept seeing it come down over me from above. I’d open my eyes and just be in this alternate reality, this other dimension. I’d see a few of my guides at first. Not too many at once, because it would be overwhelming. I jokingly asked my team if there’d be a nice cool shower waiting for me on the other side.
About 90 minutes in, I heard out of the blue “Turn left here”. It was a washed-out path that lead to the river. OK folks! I turned left and quickly found myself in a thicket of bushes. I fought my way through, trampling down a narrow pathway until I made it to the river. There was no river access at that particular place. I looked to my right and saw a little cave-like area in some rock that was hidden by these bushes. The rock overhung just enough to create some shade. I went in there and sat down for a quick break. It was nice and cool under there and I imagined Native Americans hanging out there as well, before it had been completely hidden by the bushes that lined the river. My guides told me to find river access anywhere along this point.
I crawled out and went back up to the main trail. Followed it for another 30 seconds and came upon a perfect opening to the river, complete with a sandy area and footprints of animals that had come there to drink recently. Oh, my goodness, here we go.
I took off my shoes and socks. I laid down my backpack. I walked out into the river as my guides had instructed me weeks ago. I tilted my head back and spread my arms out wide at my sides. OK my team, let’s do this! I’m ready!
I gave it about 30 seconds before I asked, “Hello, is everything okay?” I heard the word, “patience”. OK. Yes, of course.
Another 30 seconds went by. I start to feel these little pecks on my ankles. What the hell? I look down and see several 2-inch long fish hitting my legs and feet. Oh sheesh. I can deal with this, no big deal. I get centered. Again, I hear the word “patience”.
Maybe ten minutes later, I feel something more than a little peck. I look down to see a big crawdad crawling over my foot. I said, “OK team, I’m moving up to shallower water!” As I started walking up the bank, I hear “We have a problem with the portal.”
My heart sank. I hope I just didn’t hear that. I looked around me, standing in this river, arms outstretched. I’m thinking, this was a crazy idea. What was I thinking? Of course, this wasn’t going to work. Oh my gosh.
I heard it again. There’s a problem with the portal. I stood in the shallow water and waited, so many thoughts flowing through my head.
I stepped out of the river and onto the bank. So, my team, is there a way to fix this, I asked. Is there something I can do? At this point, I prayed to God for help. I sent the portal Reiki. I tried not to cry.
They said to relax while they looked at this further. I sat on a rock on the bank and waited. Again, what was I thinking? Of course, this wasn’t going to work. This whole thing was just crazy. Maybe I am crazy.
Going with the crazy theme, I stripped down buck-ass naked and got into a deeper, swifter-moving part of the river to cool off. Relief. It felt good. I cleared my mind and just tried to be in this moment, with the cool water washing over me.
I got out and dried myself off with my long-sleeved shirt and got dressed. I sat down again. I’m going through my bottles of water pretty fast. I wished I had brought more damned water.
My team said that they think this portal has been taken down by dark forces on the Earth’s side. They said they were so very sorry that this wasn’t working. They said it was hard for them to tell on their end that this portal was not working. And they said it hadn’t been used in a very long time.
I waited about an hour, putting my intention into helping fix the portal, sending it energy. I’m starting to cry. I told my team that I didn’t have enough water to stay any longer. I told them I’d come back tomorrow and we’d try it again. I was trying to be hopeful. I put on my backpack and left the water’s edge, back up to the red trail.
By now it’s almost 3:30 pm and blistering hot. The sun is no longer above me, but hitting my back. I’m disappointed. I’m trying to conserve my water which was like drinking hot tea. My back was aching, and my lungs were dry. It felt like hours before I made it back to my car. I was really dragging that last half mile. It was one of the most physically grueling things I’ve done in years. So much to ponder.
It was around 5 pm when I drove out of there. I pulled off at the boat launch I hadn’t seen before and thought about what to do. After an hour, I decided I needed a bed and a shower. [vlog 3] I got on the highway and headed for the next town. Found a cheap hotel, thank goodness. I crashed hard.
The next morning, I spoke with my guides at length. What the hell. They told me that the portal was missing “pockets of plasma” on the Earth’s side and reiterated that this is not something they can easily detect on their end. They said they were so very sorry to send me on this journey, only to have this experience. They aren’t sure if the dark actually did this or if something else naturally happened. “Fixing this will be most challenging but we are looking into the situation further to see what may be done. In the meantime, we ask you to remain patient with us and maintain your faith in us and our ability to serve humanity. We do not take this issue lightly and it is the upmost importance that we fix this.”
I am sorry to say that, even with their heart-felt apologies, I was not very nice to them. I gave them a hard time about their “lack of credibility”. I went on a tirade that we lightworkers take very big risks coming forth with information like this, things that already sound crazy to 99% of the world…and that I wasn’t sure I could trust them and not sure I could follow their guidance. I was so emotional. I have since apologized but I still feel so horrible about what I said. They didn’t deserve that. I am overjoyed with this experience, even with the portal not working. I am humbled and honored to have been invited. And the care my team showed me in terms of the routes and the love and protection, so remarkable.
My team concluded by saying that they wouldn’t be able to fix the portal within a short time frame. I would not be making a second trip there this time around.
I spent lots of time of the phone with friends and family that day, those who knew that I was looking for the portal. So much love, support, empathy from everyone. I was pretty distraught over how people would react to this news. So humbling. I am so blessed to have such amazing friends and family who can hang with something like this.
My guides also came through three more times on that emotional (and pivotal) day. Wow. Later that morning as I typed into Google “plasma and portals”, my energy flared up. The Galactic Federation of Light came through to tell me more about plasma. It was an 8-minute channeling where they explained how important plasma is to galactic species. It’s a gas that is extremely plentiful in the universe and used for many things, from transportation to heating and cooling, to the movement of objects and ideas. It’s critical to how portals work, too. “The portal itself is mostly made of plasma…plasma condenses time and space and allows the free-form flow of ions through the portal ‘tube’, like a delivery system.” They told me that they may be able to get this portal back up and running in a year or so. I would love to try this again.
In this channeling they said they wanted to provide more information on plasma and the portal so that I would know I “wasn’t the victim of some folly,” that I truly found the portal based on their guidance. “While we deeply regret the portal was not working after all the effort that you expended to reach it, we do expect at some point we would be able to revisit the portal and it would actually work.”
They continued, “Please do not lose faith in your mission, in yourself. Please do not lose faith in us as your team, your Galactic Team of Light helping you every step of the way. Your mission is of utmost importance, critical. You must remain steadfast in your dedication.” And this last part got me choked up…they ended by saying, “We hope this helps keep everything in perspective for you. With all the love and gratitude that we have, we give to you now and we thank you so much for trusting in us and for making this effort. We hope not to disappoint you next time.”
Two days later and I am so back on board. Onward my friends! I’m all in. [vlog 4]
Worth mentioning three additional things.
The morning after my second night in my Jeep, I found out where I needed to go and packed up all my things. I went to start my car, and absolutely nothing happens. Just that dreaded “click”. My battery is completely dead. I am in the middle of nowhere on an undeveloped campsite off a BLM road, secluded with no cell service. And it’s forecasted to be 100 degrees that day. My battery had died driving down to Baja and also while I was in Baja, two times in the past 5 months. So, this wasn’t a huge surprise that this happened. But it was at such an unfortunate location. I cried out loud to my team. “OK guys, all hands-on deck here! I am praying to you, to God, to get this car started! I need you NOW to make this happen!” I gave the battery Reiki from the driver’s seat. I pictured the car starting. One minute later, I turned over the key and it fired right up. This was a miracle, a gift from my team. I promptly drove to the nearest town and got a new battery installed.
Second thing. Along this journey, I repeatedly had hummingbirds come right into my personal space, even when I was nowhere near any flowering plants. In fact, I barely saw any birds during this time. At my starting point in northeast Utah, my first two nights camping in my Jeep. Then again as I got out of my car at the unmarked trail that would lead me to the portal. Sweet little fairy angels assuring me that I am loved and on the right track.
Thirdly. On my way back from the portal, feeling drained of energy, I stopped under a juniper tree for some shade and rest. I looked down to find a sweet Collared Lizard sitting on a rock near my feet. I had never seen one before, but I understand they are plentiful in these parts. This little guy never even flinched at me. I told him about the portal not working, I complained about my sore feet. I told him how cute he was. He just stared at me, then looked around a bit, then looked at me again. I was able to take my backpack off and take his picture. He posed proudly. I said goodbye and left him where I found him.
As I wrap up this amazingly wild experience, I am so full of … wow. I’m full of wow. I just spent two nights in Moab, hit the Arches National Park (wow), spent the night in a mountain yurt last night, and now I’m at this Manti-Lasal campground for one night. From here, I’ll head up to Wyoming to visit my aunt for several days, not sure how long. On July 20th it’ll be two years since my mom, her sister, passed away. I’m so happy we get to be together for this. From there I’ll meander home to Washington.
After being at the tip of Baja for 4.5 months and gallivanting through Utah, Colorado, and next Wyoming and Idaho, this is going to be a shock. The world is changing rapidly as is my personal life. I am so thankful for my friends, family and my team of light who’ll be with me the whole way.